I am not an imposter…
One of my biggest hurdles, since beginning my academic studies, was accepting that I was qualified to be there, I am smart enough to speak the jargon, and I have just as much potentially as the next scholar. For years I struggled with the thought of not feeling qualified enough, not feeling smart enough, not recognizing my full potential. I can truly say that I’ve been limiting myself all from a lot of great opportunities, because of my constant self-doubt.
I remember being in therapy a couple of years ago and my therapist pointed out my self-sabotage. My therapist pointed out that when things are getting good for me, I find a reason or an excuse to end it. This is very true about me. I have had difficulty with finishing what I’ve started and following through. For example, this website was created in May 2021, with another objective in mind, but it was never published. I continuously made excuses for why my website could not be published. It was not well put together, in my eyes. The website was not appeasing to my eyes, because I made it. No one is going to take my business model seriously, was another worry of mine. I typically have an unbothered persona, at least when it comes to social interactions, but when it comes to career and professional life, the consideration of others matter to me. Strange, I know.
Today, May 2, 2022, I have unveiled my newly updated website to the closest members of my family. This way, I can be held accountable to actually publish it by anticipated publishing date of 5/31/2022. This website will be the beginning of the platform I’ve been holding myself back from. This website will be the beginning of me allowing my voice to ring loudly again. This website is the beginning of a long, future of consistent self-driven success that I have been so afraid to pursue, because of the fear of failure.
I am going to do it this time… this in addition to TicTok, YouTube, FaceBook, LinkedIn. I may never have millions of followers, but as long as I am able to effectively reach the lives of one or two, I have done what I have always strived to do.
If you have read this far… thank you!
I wish love, peace, and healing for all of you.
Dr. Kay Lo Jo
