Coping with Holiday Stress
It’s that time of year again. Mariah Carey’s signature “All I Want for Christmas is YOUUUU” is blasting in all of the grocery and department stores. The weather is becoming chillier. The time in the sunshine is becoming shorter. Sculptures and trees are adorned with sparkling lights. For many, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year”! But, for some the otherwise festive season is not so jolly. It’s, instead, a grim reminder of loss, loneliness, financial hardships, etc.
To be completely honest, I am among those who struggle with the jolly season. Yes, I would love to have a more festive outlook on the holiday, but the holiday blues have had a hold of me for nearly a decade now. I am able to process and cope with my feelings now that I am older, but there was a point where it was extremely difficult to even crack a smile. I am often overcome with sadness over losing the happier self I once was. I am saddened that I cannot give my daughter the happy memories she deserves on the holidays. There always seems to be an influx of human experiences ending during this season, for some reason or another, and I have begged the universe to include me among that lucky draw of people. But, the reality is I have to tough it out, and probably many more seasons like this.
So, how do I cope?
I accept my feelings
I allow myself to feel. I no longer ignore my feelings, hide my feelings, blame myself for my feelings… I sit in whatever I feel. I start by identifying what I am feeling and why I am feeling the way that I do. Whether it’s sadness, anger, frustration, etc. I feel it. The important thing that I remind myself is that it eventually passes. If I want to sit alone and cry I will. If I want to go for a long drive, I will. If I want to browse the stores, I will. I just do what soothes my emotions at that time.
Reach Out
Although, I don’t really enjoy talking about my feelings to family or friends, because they often do not seem to be listening and I don’t want to burden them, I reach out to professionals. I am an advocate for therapeutic services. I recommend everyone seek the guidance and/or advice from a professional. Look for opportunities to help others. Sometimes transforming that negative energy into something productive goes a long way. I recently moved to a new area, and am trying to find ways to get involved and find my niche here. I have been diving into researching and reaching out to different organizations to see where I can be of assistance. When I volunteer, I feel as if my life has some meaning. It really helps to volunteer during this season. Just simply reach out.
Positive Affirmations
Regularly practicing positive affirmations are vital during this time. I have to tell myself “it’s okay not to have it all together”, “you are capable”, “you are worthy”, among more elaborate affirmations. I have to repeat them, until I believe them. I recommend that you draft a list of affirmations and repeat them at least twice daily. Positively affirming yourself makes a world of difference for your mental health.
Practice Self-care
Do not neglect your self-care. Whether it’s getting a few extra hours of rest, a warm shower, treating yourself to a spa day, spending time alone, whatever you enjoy, do it!
Be Patient
Be patient with yourself and with others. We tend to put so many expectations on ourselves, and others during the holiday season. This could lead to disappointments and sour feelings. Do not put more on yourself than you can truly handle physically, emotionally, financially, etc. You know your limits.
I hope that these five tips help you, as they are helping me. I wish you a happy holiday season!
